*dies laughing* Wow? That’s the best title you could come up with, Madison? Seriously? I think I’ll just remove the “Where in the World Have We Been?” part for you because that stinks even worse.

Oh wait. I already have. 😏 I thought about taking that exclamation point out, too. It’s just… eh.

Hey. It’s Del here. Madison started a draft like weeks ago and I’m secretly taking over for her. Madison hasn’t posted in, what, literally almost a month? I can’t believe her laze.

Yeah, laze is a word. I’m making it a word. It’s the equivalent to “laziness” only it’s not really equal because it’s 110% more awesome. If you don’t like it, too bad.

If you came looking for a nice, sweet blog post featuring one of my delightful roomates… you’re reading the wrong one.

It’s okay. Not many people can handle my wickedly awesome epicness. Congratulations to the few who can. You weren’t even exposed to 0.2% of it in my last post.

I just hope you can survive what comes next.

Why hasn’t Madison made a post in the last month, you ask? Well, I’m going to ask, why are you asking me? Actually, there’s no point in even asking her because she’s got too much laze in her bones.

Well. I know what I’ve been doing this past month. I only have a few minutes because I’m not supposed to be on here (like Madison can even keep me off 😂), so I’ll only share a few photos until I have enough time to make multiple full-blown articles of awesomeness.

DID YOU SEE MY AMAZING ALLITERATION SKILLS

OH SNAP I DID IT AGAIN

The past few feeks have been full of…

STEALING MADISON’S DEBIT CARD AND BUYING TONS OF SNACKS AND SODA WITH IT AT HOTELS.

IT GETS BETTER. I snuck onto her phone and turned on her hotspot so I could slave off of it and watch movies on her data plan all night. I totally could’ve done it on the hotel’s wifi, but seeing the look on Madison’s face the next day when she ran out of data was priceless. 😂

I would’ve taken a picture of her stupid face had I not used up all her storage taking selfies of me and setting them as her phone wallpaper.

Madison is a ridiculously fun person to vex.

IT GETS EVEN BETTER.

I was not only the terror of Madison and the worst nightmare of her, well, non-existent nightmares… I WAS THE ENTIRE HOTEL’S WORST NIGHTMARE.

But I can’t tell you that part. I’ll save it for a future post. >:D

AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER. GUESS WHAT I DID ON WEDNESDAY.

I WRECKED THE AMERICAN GIRL PLACE.

It was ridiculously fun. I can’t tell you everything. The memories are still too fresh. I might burst out in uncontrollable laughter and then completely blow my cover — because, you know, I’m not supposed to be on here.

BUT OH MY GOSH. The look on Logan’s face was priceless when I shoved him out of the way and showed him who was boss on the drums.

I even whacked the AG store manager on the head with the drumstick when she told me to stop (only because I was playing so awesomely that all the customers were fleeing out of the doors, physically unable to handle it — definitely not because I was playing so loud and terribly that they were all running for their lives, screeching in terror, and praying for eardrum insurance).

IT GETS EVEN BETTER. I KNOW IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE — HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY GET ANY BETTER — BUT IT DOES. 

I totally wrecked Logan and Tenney’s little fairytale music jam with some rap that K.C. taught me. 😂 Logan was already infuriated at me for pushing him out of the way (dude, he whined like a baby) and playing on his teeny toddler drumset, but you should’ve been there when he was trying to shout over me. I just rapped all the louder and faster.

IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

BAHAHAHA. I then wrecked Maryellen’s pretend diner — after stealing all the food, of course.

Here I am at a hotel. You can see Madison in the reflection of the mirror. Yeah, you’re so busted, Madi.

You see, she pretends she’s a ninja but she’s actually the world’s worst… everything. She has three scabs from when she miserably failed at a totally safe game of Ninja last week (where you and your friends stand in a circle and take turns karate-chopping each other’s forearms and if both your arms get chopped you’re out). She’s the loudest, the most ungraceful, most ridiculous-looking-in-a-ninja-costume…

I mean, seriously. Her and her Texas BFF made up a ninja dance a few days ago and… no. Her BFF looked epic and Madison was all like LOOK AT ME I’M THIS AWESOME DRAMATIC NINJA AND WATCH ME FLIP MY HAIR AND DO THIS MELODRAMATIC FALL-TO-THE-GROUND DANCE MOVE AND

No. Just no.

Speaking of Madison’s failures at… everything… I’ll take the liberty of doing what she’s too lazy to do — make excuses for her. Actually, there is no excuse for her whatsoever, so I’ll just go ahead and let her unknowingly take the blame.

Madison would like me to tell you that she’s been gone on this super huge ministry trip all month, what with all these different churches and photographing the services and whatnot, but we all know that she’s really just too lazy to do anything good in this world. That is why she has not (A) replied to comments (B) replied to emails (C) commented on any of your blogs (D) been a good friend (E) or blogger (F) or person in general.

She would like me to tell you that she’s trying to get to everything as soon as she possibly can in the franticness of traveling, getting new vehicles, meeting people, visiting churches, general ministry stuff, and maybe a little of somedolly named Delaney frustrating her every chance she gets, but we all know that “trying” means “failing” for her and “soon” means “never”.

SPEAKING OF MADISON’S UNIMPRESSIVENESS, STUPIDITY, AND GENERAL LAMENESS…

IT GETS EVEN — worse.

As payback for annoying her and irritating her and making her life a struggle… Madison has in turn annoyed me, irritated me, and made my life a struggle.

You will not BELIEVE what she made me do at the American Girl store.

But like I said. That’s for another post.

I hope Madison’s laze won’t discourage you from commenting, seeing as she hasn’t replied to comments from, what, May? Geez. I promise that I’m not like her. I’ll personally reply to your comments as soon as I can sneak back on the computer — I hear Madison coming and man is she ever in a mood right now. ? Time to go make her life miserable — and six days before her birthday, too! Tata.

COMMENT, YOUNG NON-WHINY PADAWANS AKA PADAWONS. 💪

^ Heads Up part five sneak peek.

Anymore epic quotes, cool one-liners, or awesome mic-drops? Because I love them. You guys have great stuff.

KICKIN’ BUTT AND TAKIN’ NAMES,

P.S. when you realize laze has actually been a real world this entire time

P.P.S. oops

P.P.P.S. like the post because i love it when you like my stuff

P.P.P.P.S.  oh and comment too so i can deem you cool

P.P.P.P.P.S.  MADISON IS COMING HELP SHE IS GOING TO KILL ME BYE